Saturday, March 22, 2008

Friends in Need

This one surprises me a little: We help friends out of empathy, relatives 'cause we expect something in return. 

I guess it's because you can't pick your relatives (don't I know it), but your friends are presumably pretty cool folk whom you actually like rather a lot and feel bad for when they need a ride to the airport/someone to feed their fish/help moving. 

Your family, you just do it because they are the people who are going to change your adult diaper in a few years.

I guess. 

But what about helping a helpless family member? An old parent may leave you some money, but what about your child?

I'm going to assume this study, by psychologist Lidewij Niezink, didn't include the mother- or father-child bond.

Another finding was that hanging around those in a worse position is a real depressing bummer for those who feel empathy.

So, weirdly, if you are down and out and looking for cheery companionship -- as opposed to help or understanding -- the heartless and indifferent may be your best bet as buds.


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